Divine Lols

Friday, December 10, 2010

A Broadened Spectrum

The Butterfly Effect

A few hours ago I went to a friends house to play Halo: Reach. As time progressed, we dropped the Halo plan altogether. Why you might ask? Well my friend Cody Allan was talking about how everything we do affects how our future is going to be. If one thinks about that for a minute, they will see that this is true. What if a person originally decides to stay off of a roller-coaster that his friends are about to ride, and in turn the ride malfunctions and all 20 people aboard die What is to say that if that person that decided to stay off that time actually got on instead? Would it still malfunction or would it alter it all so that it doesn't happen at all? Everything happens the way people form it. It's typically known as an excerpt from the movie 'The Butterfly Effect', but still - What if you as a person did something other than you planned to do? Would it alter your future for the good or bad?

Uncertain Truths

Four thousand years prior to the birth of Christ, Egyptians recorded history. They didn't have parchment or quills - they had stone. These Egyptians would tell their stories in a way that would forever change the way we think. To tell their stories they used a chisel of sorts and carved into stone very detailed pictures of things they saw and witnessed as a whole. Only the highest of authority could chisel these pictures in as well - not any Joe Blow could walk in and start carving. In several re-occurring pictures, there are picture of what we believe to be current day 'aliens' and UFO's. Examples:

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Why do they keep showing up? Same 'aliens', same dedication the the 'gods' (aliens), same futuristic space craft hovering above the peoples of Egypt. You have to understand that this was far before anyone ever decided to bring up the alien/UFO conspiracies. These peoples truly saw these extra-terrestrial beings in true form, and from their hieroglyphics, they were helped by them as well. An interesting thing to ponder about.


Conspiracies


Speaking of conspiracies, the white lighter myth is one of my favorite things to think about. The story is that four famous musicians all died at the age of 27. Two of them on the same day with one year difference. The musicians are Jimi Hendrex, Kurt Cobain, Jim Morris, and Janis Joplin. The myth is that all four of them were left handed, all of them died mysteriously, and every one of them had a white bic lighter on them at their autopsy. Is this coincidence? Is there a time traveling mass murderer killing these musicians and planting a white bic lighter on them? Who knows. Call me crazy but some things need to be studied a little more closely before scoffing at them and rendering them false automatically. Thinking abroad can open doors to places that one might never have thought able to exist at all.


Brain Power


How is it that something so small be so powerful and complex? Infants can understand just as much or more than we as grown people can. We all act and react - listen and respond. How do we know how to form words, communicate by simple terms? The brain enables so much more possibilities than we can imagine. Scientists say that we only use then percent of our brains, even so when they used their brain power to conjure up that hypothesis. We can not begin to unhinge the mind. It is a complete mystery to how it works and what keeps it going. Retaining knowledge is one of the most interesting pieces of the brain puzzle I know of. How can one listen one time and remember it until the day they die? Say you hear advice from some one at age 17 about morale and you die at 83. That's 66 years (calculator :p) of implanted knowledge from one personal experience. How can it be? Paper can record history too but in time it fades away and eventually crumbles to dust. As for the mind, it remembers every last detail to each persons story. Fascinating is the world and all it's endless mysteries.


Conclusion

Close one door and open up another. Discover and live. Don't ever let someone tell you that something cannot exist when clearly there aren't any explanations to much of anything worth concerning over. This has been a moment with Dr. Scopy Buns.





Thursday, December 9, 2010

Drug Facts I - Dr. Scopy buns

There are days where my patients call me up on the cell with drug fact inquiries. Most times they call during my free time so I kindly tell them to GTFO. To avoid my bickering and constant alcoholic rages over a phone call, I've decided to distill some drug fact knowledge so that the general public can refer here for their answers. So from now on, do not call my house at 3:17 A.M. again. You know who you are... Cheryl... Now then on to the drug facts! Listed alphabetically:

Azumantuarinelolan - A common placebo used to calm the nerves and simmer tryhards down. With that said, it is also a highly avoided pill to take as well. most markets rarely keep it stocked for long. The tryhards will do their best to keep it away.

Belugafrinzlmao - Very common in any other country but America - Extremely uncommon in South Dakota. Used to balance ones chi and burn calories faster than an arsonist could burn in a Californian forest in mid July. Few Americans take this pill due to its taste. Fatter girls tend to stay away due to the fact that it tastes like a carrot stick. Thus, girls try to be bulimic. WARNING: To all fatties and chub hubs, do NOT take Belugafrinzlmao with any chocolate. Obesity is an end result. You do not need to be any bigger you fat-ass.

Excedrololiteduroflexuzlumao - An older pill, used to offset seriousness. May cause one to endure the lack of lols, have frequent mega dumps, and also make one believe that they can predict something full of win, but inevitably fail anyways. 

More drug facts to come. Those in dire need of a drug reference, Google it. Damn. 

This has been 'Drug Facts I' with Dr. Scopy Buns.

Have a fabulous day.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Perscribed LOLs I - By Dr. Scopy Buns

Take this receipt to your nearest pharmlolsist and do as the bottlol instructs:

-Excedrololiteduroflexuzlumao-

  • Take two tablets daily.
  • Drink a lot of liquid win.
  • Avoid taking any form of fail with Excedrololiteduroflexuzlumao*.

* side effects include the lack of lols, frequent mega dumps, the ability to predict a win but inevitably fail.

Warning: Those pregnant and or sooper serious should not take this pill. May cause a bit of happiness and longer life span.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Toodle-Loo, said the Canary in the zoo!

One fine day a Maine man was lurking and lurking in a Portland zoo. He stumbled upon a yellowish ball of wondrous amber decor. The bird said to he, "Free me and I will grant thee three wishes of endless delight - no if, ands or buts along this mean of bargaining", Said the colorfully yellow chirp. As the man took in these words, his answer was simultaneous with his actions, "Yes! Okay!" Cried the man in blue as he opened the cage to free the bird. Being so deviant, the Canary flew off diligently and freely into the open blue skies as the man cried, "Please! My three wishes!" After the Maine man finished his plea, he darted aside so he could dodge the birds pee. "Toodle-Loo!" replied the cunning canary. As it rained down on the poor old Maine man, this lesson was as clear as clear could be: Never trust a talking canary, especially true when being scarlet and ginger. The end.

Friday, December 3, 2010

So it is my day of birth..

..and I'm 19.  What am I doing with my life? Haha playing Halo, drinking soda, and eating Taco Bell. Suck it maturity hahaha!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

'Ereee she blows!

Ayye today be a day to remembur ye see there was this clan o' Baluga Whales, gracefully passing as I sat on me ship. 'So eloquent' I thought to me-self. Aye tis a great day to be a pirate..

Monday, November 29, 2010

I hate fegs - Part IV - Conclusion

In the end, try-hards live the good life but suffer from the fact that no one likes them and most certainly that their parents never loved them - or ever will. As these Gremlins taunt you with Blognorn jokes and ridicule you with their lack of intellect, just know that you are the thing these people fear the most. They know you can hurt them and they know that they are weak snobs inheriting fortunes that will only drive them to loneliness and slumming relationships. All we can do as a whole is let them live their lives accordingly behind their television sets and have them continue their run-away train lives into a dark abyss that lay ruin for the souls of the damned.

To everyone else, work hard, do phenomenal and keep on living life to its fullest.

://End